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An Obituary of America; Remember Her and Weep  

It is with tears of deep regret, profound sadness, and a sense of great loss, we announce the death of our beloved national mother, Mrs. United States of America.

She was courageously born in the city of Philadelphia, PA, July the fourth 1776 to her parents, Liberty and Justice, with proud grandparents, moral integrity and love of fellow man, attending.

Her children, though weak, poor, and few in the beginning, now number in the hundreds of millions, and had become known as the richest, most moral and powerful people in the world.

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